#me when im depressed
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Vincent Price guest stars as Super Dope (which is one of my favorite characters ever) -- Red Skelton Hour; Loused in Space (1967)
#vincent price#red skelton#red skelton show#the red skelton hour#super dope#hes so goddamn cute in this#AND HIS TUMMY!!#HOW TF AM I GONNA BE NORMAL NOW?!#so sexy#馃い馃い馃い馃い馃い馃い馃い#bicon#bisexual#god#goddamn#horror#skit#comedy#cry#crying#old horror movies#vintage#movie#actor#handsome#gif#gifs made by me#me when im depressed#gifs#my gifs#gif set
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don鈥檛 owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They鈥檙e always passing urges, but it鈥檚 disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain鈥檚 spent so long thinking only about suicide that it鈥檚 forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I鈥檓 trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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i'm ready to try
#This drawing is kind of personal to me#I recently graduated (CUM LAUDE WOOOO!!!!) and its like. not to get depressing#but when i was younger i was never sure whether i would make it to this point#When i was going through what i consider to still be like. the worst time of my entire life#This fictional character was there for me and she was something for me to latch onto and cope with#eGem helped me a lot with being able to process my emotions at the time but also helped me to reflect on myself#which i think is a big reason as to why I'm really happy with where i am with myself right now#I'm going off to uni next school year to study astronomy!!! which!!!#Im also doing because of eGem!!! She ignited this kind of childlike wonder for space for me#I love doing math and physics and whilst Im still a bit scared because. honestly i don't know whether this is what i want to do with my lif#I think i'll be okay either way#either way i wanted to draw egem again even if i haven't done so in a while because its like#i think i wouldnt be who i am without her. i think i'd be a lot worse off#so like. thank you empires smp thank you geminitay thank you egem This drawing is me expressing my gratitude#AND THANK YOU AUTISM!#empires smp#empires smp s1#empiresblr#esmp#geminitay#art#fanart#alice.art#mcyt#mcytblr#song is andromeda by weyes blood... obv.. you guys know me by now :oP
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a glass sun 1/2
#my art#my stuff#this is really fucking long so im gonna have to break it up into multiple reblogs#(howling) WAUGHHHHHHH#i love aishang by xiaoshiguniang#i love to implicate my alma mater in my art about being gay in the shittiest most conservative corner of singaporean society#by some terrible trick of fate i ended up in the conservative chinese christian cishet circuit from primary school to end of hs#obviously i am not most of these things but there i was. Depressed#and there i was after that at Liberal Arts College. the 4 years i spent there were a clusterfuck#but like a good and outrageous and lively clusterfuck#and i graduated in may this year and when i came back it was for the first time in 10 months. it was like. what da hell#like i love being here in specific ways but there is also the pain of being seen as something you're not constantly#can i blame them? i ask myself this every day. for most of my ex classmates and relatives i Am the only not cis person they know#idk my lottery number was bad this corner of society really is that bad#and so its like. idk dawg anyway i aint offering solutions but u get it like it fucks with your head to be misgendered either which way 24/#but to leave them behind would be to leave the only people who knew me for the first 19 years behind. and thats a lot of my life#i am 23!!!!!! ough#anyway. whatever. if u liked it i have a ko-fi#reblogos appreciated
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they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
#writeblr#warm up#to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace#but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X'#and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!''#babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3#mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES#and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for#than have 1 kid NOT get help#but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here#bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness''#it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!''#& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness#but use it to defend THEIR actions#like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell?#you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse?#but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck?#your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross?#HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like#all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like.#anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol
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Broke: "Dick Grayson was upset at a new kid taking over his mantle because he doesn't think Jason will be good enough as Robin"
Woke: "Dick is upset at Jason, not because he's suddenly taking over the mantle he created, but because Jason isn't nearly feral enough of a child to drive Bruce insane in Dick's place"
Dick: You wanna be my successor? Go swing from that chandelier right now.
Jason:
Dick: As a matter of fact, I need to see you crawling all over the walls. Make a ruckus, break some furniture
Jason: But Bruce-
Dick: SCREW Bruce. Your job as my new brother is to make his life HELL. Why are you so polite? Why are you so calm? Where's your DRIVE, your PASSION, huh? You may be worthy of the title of Robin, but are you WORTHY of being my disaster brother?
Jason, a little scared: I dont-
Dick, scoffing: The youth these days just don't rebel like they used to.
#Bruce watching Dick take Jason out on a lil hangout day: Im sure everything will be fine :)#Alfred: You have no idea what youve done.#Dick: do you at least have any hobbies#Jason: i read#Dick: (in tears) i got such a BORING brother#[jason coming back as gotham's new uprising crime lord]#dick: see THATS what im talking about FINALLY a worthy successor#dick: remember littlewing when u turn 16 u gotta up the angsty teen performance tenfold just to REALLY make B's life difficult#jason a few years later: *dies in the most horrifying way possible leaving Bruce an anguished depressed mess*#dick: Wow ok I did NOT think he'd outdo me like this#this is how they bonded as brothers :)#this is kinda a continuation on a prev post abt Robin Jason being the polite kid lol#jason todd#dick grayson#nightwing#robin!jason#red hood#bruce wayne#batman#batfamily#batfam#batdad#batkids#batbros#dc#crack#incorrect quotes#fanatical posting
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rotating my OC in my head wasnt enough. I had to bring him into the physical world too. four different times.
#my cosplay#cosplay#oc art#oc cosplay#ocs#original character#also not me just not realizing sulu is basically my mascot for depression#its like i usually make stuff for him when im in the throes of an acute depressive episode#and babygirl lets just say i have clinically diagnosed bipolar II 馃槒馃槒馃槒#also did you guys know that they came out with a bipolar III#like sons of bitches out here releasing sequels making the worst trilogy known to man#if bipolar II was so good why didnt they make a bipolar II 2#except they did and its bipolar III
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Quick doodles bc I love them
#these are so mid im sorry#ive just been so sad and dont wanna draw#but i DO want to draw. yk???#so i drew them!! because they make me so happy :DDD#mario#luigi#my art#ill draw more when im not so depressed probably#hopefully
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drew arthur with a little friend. they're talking about life and death
#rdr2#rdr2 fanart#barghestland#arthur morgan#art#artists on tumblr#this week life was so fucking horrible i'm on the edge of having a little breakdown#and when im sad and stressed and done with life i just draw arthur#cuz his depressed ass would understand#u know.. yeah :(#i hope whoever reads it is having a better time#if u want u can tell me smth nice in tags or anywhere really<3#like tell me silly names of ur pets or facts about ur favorite bugs#i'd be happy to hear that
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damn binghe is ur shizun single..?
#svsss#shen qingqiu#scum villain#shen yuan#mxtx#specifically this is meant to be like. immediately post skinner demon. like when hes chattin to binghe about how hes gonna protect him#or whatever tf it is he says#but it doesn't matter bc this is binghe vision. all binghes hearing from sqq's mouth is blah blah im hot and sexy blah blah#proper name place name backstory stuff etc etc#fanart#my art#art#sketch#its such a slog to draw literally anything more than stupid ass doodles rn ngl#that winter sure can seasonal depression#but there is a svsss animatic idea eating away at me so. take one of the 3 (three) panels ive drawn
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lady amber my beloved
#mine#rote#fitz and the fool#amber i would die for u#this was going to be a fools quest beloved but unfortunately the short hair was rlly bad so shdhsdbd#au in which everything is the same but beloved kept their beautiful long locks#honestly fools quest is simultaneously the hardest and funniest rote book to read#like on the one hand everything is awful. on the other hand people hve told fitz hes cringe for being depressed like 5 times its so funny#also when fool said ash made a convincing girl and fitz said 'you would know' FITZ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i screamed girl ur so funny#anyway . this drawing gave me so much grief i drew it last week and only this evening had time 2 colour it ooooaug#moving tomorrow good lord !!! im not convinced i can get everything in the car but my mum says we can so.....i believe her i guess#im so stresed. also i think my printer is just going to be like. raw dogging it in th car bc we dont hve a box big enough so KJBKSDJBK#anyway hve a nice evening!
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I think we should all disregard that these requests were from April C:
@sun-marie @kirikitsune
#fe fates#xander#camilla#september is drawing to a close and im SO excited bc september is my depression month#i can already feel my mood improving#though it might have helped that i went for like a 2 hour walk today ? which is why im drawing / posting so late#i say late as if i have a scheduled posting time or like i havent posted way later before#it just feels late to me#not actually taking reqs currently ! as said these are from april when i was taking reqs#im also excited someone super cool bought conquest and gets to experience the nohrian siblings bc i am truly nohrian scum#idk why but i like drawing camilla with dragon like slits in her eyes but then just ? no other nohrian sib gets those honors#except obviously corn who also deserves them
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scorched earth.
a comic about a princess who died in a fire.
(this is a sequel to bite of winter, a comic about Snow and what became of her after her death.)
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creative notes:
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all my other comics
store
#cw: blood#cw: beheading#cw:death#cw: gore#cw: burning alive#so nice of ash to have prepared a barbequed buffet ready for snow when she arrives#if it wasn't made clear enough ash did die in that fire#she just did it while taking down as many people as she could in the process. and now shes a smoke monster#and yes. the fire powers do imply she's not quite human. but shes human enough to fall in love and die and thats enough.#im sorry this comic took me so long. i had about a week where i was very depressed and nothing got done.#thank you for your patience#and as always#thank you for reading#comic art#sapphic art#lgbt#horror#somehow not as scary as snow but ash is still fearsome in her own way#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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WOW i hit 3,000 followers!! that's wild, thank you everyone for being here!!
as celebration, i'll be hosting my first raffle!! i'll be posting up until June 17th, and then i'll be drawing a url from those that reblogged this post. you must be following me to enter!
Will do: OCs, OC/Self insert x Canon, fanart. as always, these include Pride things and angst
Won't do: NSFW, furry art, mecha
if you have any questions, please feel free to ask! thank you everyone for the support, and good luck!
#art raffle#im SWEATING#i cant believe i got here#thats nuts to me#i started this in 2017 and it was probably my 6th run at having an art blog#bc i kept deleting when i got depressed#so to still have this one and have that many people behind me#thats. im all warm and fuzzy inside
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zavala's gonna kick his butt until he gives the guardians real glimmer instead
#i think im at my low point#in terms of drawing and creativity i mean#i don't really wanna draw stuff but if i don't draw something i'll forget how to draw#so here's something i guess#maybe i should learn how to draw big men again im drawing too little shaxx and titans recently#...if i actually wanna draw when i open csp#it's not depressed i'm just somehow not wanting to draw and it's annoying me#weird but that kind of thing just happens i guess#destiny 2#destiny hunter#cayde 6#destiny 2 art#my art
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just tiresome scribblings today...a Slug
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i found one in the kitchen..i was freaked out but the person who owns the house never saw it so they dont quite believe me..#a real lack of concern there.......but it's not my house so ok....#bugs always used to get in my flat when i lived in japan and they were waaaayyy grosser and annoying creatures there so whatever#qifrey called it 'madam' because only girls mess up his floor.#i'm getting annoyed by my art again. getting out scribbles is fun but im too tired to make GOOD ones#maybe the annoyance is good since it shows im recovering from a depression spell enough that im forgetting how much worse not scribbling is#i'm playing edgeworth game so i have drawn some of him too but not enough to post. i love that homosexual man
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